How many times have you found yourself in this situation?
- You committed to a night on the town with the hubby, but you are feeling exhausted and tired from a crazy week at work.
- You’re craving sushi, and your friend wants STEAK!
- You have plans for a much needed yoga class and your partner (or that great guy you just started dating) calls and wants to hang.
A lot of times when faced with these types of decision, we are hesitant to respect our own desires and wishes because we’ve been taught that in order to show we care we have to sacrifice ourselves.
Say you make the sacrifice – do you feel joyful, fulfilled and appreciated after the fact?
HOW DO YOU SHOW LOVE?
A lot of people love to serve and be of service in this world. So much so that many people are willing to give up themselves completely in order to please others and they genuinely feel this is a demonstration of their love.
‘You have to sacrifice to show your love AND others should do the same in return’, is a very common belief pattern.
So we end up with everyone doing what they think the other person wants, when in reality, if you ask me, they only want you to do what you TRULY & DEEPLY want out of PURE love – no obligation, guilt, or fear involved.
Sacrificing yourself for love backfires when the receiving party does not show “enough” appreciation, does not notice or does not reciprocate. You are left feeling empty, hurt, and unloved. Sitting there with your empty cup, waiting (in vain) for someone else to fill it up.
But have you ever stopped to ask yourself who is actually responsible for your happiness?
TO THINE OWNSELF BE TRUE.
Darling, you must stop looking outside of yourself for love and fulfillment. It’s got to come from within!
What if everyone chose to love themselves FIRST, take care of themselves FIRST, stay true to their own needs FIRST, and then from a place of FULLNESS they gave of themselves to others?
By putting yourself first, you develop an impenetrable self-confidence and take back control of your own happiness. You fill your own cup, allowing you to give to others without needing anything in return. The purest form of giving!
YEAH, BUT ISN’T THAT A PRETTY DAMN SELFISH WAY OF LIVING?
Lucky for you, NOPE, not one bit. Some of the most respected spiritual teachers offer this as a tried and true way of life and love.
When you give from a place of FULLNESS, with a true desire to be of service, offering up your time and effort to others will not feel like a sacrifice. It will be a pleasure with no strings attached.
You may have to reach into the depths of your mind to work on re-defining what it means to show love and give love in your personal relationships. You might find it incredibly hard to put yourself first without feeling guilty. To say no without feeling like a bad partner, daughter, friend.
It’s OK. That’s a normal reaction.
It may take some getting used to, but give it a shot and push past your boundaries and your negative self-talk. You just might find the breakthrough you’ve been looking for through your discomfort. And wouldn’t that be amazing?
Do you find it hard to put yourself first? Would love to hear about your personal experiences in the comments!