Do you ever notice yourself trying to arrange your life in order to avoid having to deal with ANY uncomfortable situations?

You may be doing this unintentionally or you may be thinking, “Yep, that definitely sounds like me.”

Well you’re not alone. Most of us, when we find our trigger buttons, put every possible effort to avoid anything or anyone that might get near enough to push that button. Sounds logical right? Well, the problem is that we’re putting SO much energy into this, that we often don’t have enough energy left to pursue the pure joys in our life. And even if we are enjoying ourselves, we still have our guard up!

Avoiding discomfort at all costs, actually comes at a really high price. You may find yourself sacrificing deeper connections with those around you to protect that part of you you’re really trying to avoid. These defense mechanisms are natural, as they have become ingrained neuron paths in our brain since we were children. Even though we don’t need these defense mechanisms anymore, we don’t trust ourselves enough to let them go. We hold on to them – deflecting, blaming, staying too busy to feel, compartmentalizing emotions, burying our real need for true connection, etc.

However, because we live in a dualistic world, we can only experience intense joy if we’re willing to face and experience intense pain. Now this might be a scary and uncomfortable realization, but I believe that it’s part of our purpose in life to let life experience itself. This means, experiencing the full spectrum of emotions.

Luckily, the brain can be changed and by developing self-confidence and self-love, you will be EMPOWERED to experience the discomfort to see what’s on the other side. (Hint: Joy, peace and rest awaits you!)

So, let’s start by asking yourself this: What am I avoiding? How am I creating my life so that I never have to feel discomfort? 

Next, ask yourself: Why? 

Understanding your intentions behind your actions is vital to bringing light to the subject! Getting clear on why you do something allows space for change.

If you’re interested in diving even further, click here to learn more about my women’s coaching and let’s breakthrough this together.

*This post was inspired by Bruce Tift of Boulder Colorado. In his work, “Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberations”, he explores the human issues of neurosis, anxiety, body awareness and relationship dynamics.