For many years, I was a destination wedding planner and I helped so many couples plan for their “Big Day.” It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed taking care of all the details and helping couples have a stress free wedding. And then one day…I realized I wanted to make an even bigger difference in the world. I wanted to help couples create and plan for their big LIFE together! So, that’s just what I’m doing.
With programs like Build Your Foundation and the “How to Build A Strong Foundation With Your Partner” blog series, my goal is to provide easy access to the material I’ve found most beneficial in creating an open, communicative and connected partnership.
So, for all of you premarital couples out there, I’m sure you’ve already found several lists of those must-talk-about questions and topics before marriage – there are a TON of them out there!
They include topics like:
- Finances: Will you have joint bank accounts? Who will be the money manager? Is there any debt you need to disclose?
- Children: Do you both want kids? Are you set on any particular names? Parenting styles? Religion? Family name?
- Extended Family: Do you have any boundaries? Yearly vacations?
- Sex & Intimacy
- Errands, Chores & House Cleaning: Are you going to split chores? Errands? Cleaning?
- Careers & Moving: Would you both be comfortable relocating for a job offer? What are your career goals?
While those are all VERY IMPORTANT things to discuss and I highly recommend chatting about those topics continually with each other, there’s more that I want to share with you…
Often, as I read through those lists, I’m always wondering, “How is that conversation going to go? Does the couple have the skills & tools they need to get through talking through some of those harder questions? Will they be making agreements they aren’t comfortable with just to make their partner happy?”
We learn how to be in a relationship through trial and error. Most of us didn’t taking a class growing up on how to express our feelings in a healthy manner.
Here’s a great trick I’d like to share on how to check in with your relationship:
- Think about the last difficult conversation or situation you had with your partner. Did it go well? Did you feel completely heard? Were you able to freely express yourself without holding anything back? Were you able to stay open and refrain from getting defensive? Did you feel closer to your partner when it was over?
If your answer is yes, that’s great! You’ve probably already been discussing those topics on the list plus some. Keep at it and check out my Build Your Foundation course to dive even deeper by taking your relationship to the next level of connection.
If you answered no to any of those questions, that’s great because it means you both get to continue to grow together and explore how you want your communication to go.
We are all continually in the process of learning to navigate our relationships, boundaries, vulnerability and openness. These are exactly the types of items the tools I love sharing with you address.
Below are a few links to some of the material I’ve created recently to aid in the people growing process:
- Check out the 5 Tools to Stopping Conflict In It’s Tracks, here.
- Click here for a downloadable on a Thriving Marriage.
- If you’d like to sign up for my 5 part series on Strengthening Your Partnership, click here.
- Build Your Foundation is a 6-week program that will give you invaluable tools throughout your marriage, check it out here!
And, as an EXTRA BONUS to this post, I’ve also included a PDF with a few awesome tips for all you premarital couples out there! Click here to download the guide.
Creating a connected and strong partnership is a beautiful journey and I’m so happy to be your guide along the way!
Do you have any other great tips you use to strengthen your partnership? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.